The Last Care Bender

It's been almost a year since my last post, but then again, I've only been back to DMing for about four months. Relocating to a new state and getting a new job is exciting, but it can display your tabletop flow. I'm back, and so I hope the blog will be, too.

Today, I'm discussing "bending" -- as in rules. The last post I made about a similar topic, entitled Breaking Bad, mainly focused on rules associated with gameplay and combat. So, by extension, it was a discussion on role it, you can roll it').  This topic focuses more on the character build and the individual player. Some things to consider in this discussion: What individual player requests should be granted, if any? What are you, as a DM, sacrificing/ gaining in honoring/ negotiating requests?
the "house rules for the betterment of all" (some I still use today, such as cantrips/ orisons are unlimited, and 'if you can

I'll start here: I like to make my players happy. No, I don't care about them "winning" all the time, or find it pertinent to praise every good decision; nor am I hung up on them leaving the table frustrated. I used to care, and perhaps too much (which isn't wise, because a lot of times, I have no control over those emotions). Still, I try to operate as a DM with a prime directive; and the first and foremost rule I abide by is 'let your players imagine and create, within reason'.

"Snow, I want to build a barbarian, whose tiny in size, who rides a were-bunny, and bears a lance that's actually a magical carrot!"

My response (assuming comedy, class, mounts, and flexibility are elements supported by my game [which, because I roll with the impromptu, they usually are]):
"Yes! Let's make it happen; but only is you name yourself 'Doc' so I can constantly have the party great you with 'What's up?!'"

My point it, when I think tabletop, I think imagination. If your creativity isn't supported in a realm of possibilities, then you might feel stifled. For my players, I customize classes altogether, merely to support what they desire to build. I invent feats. I grant abilities. I replace whole spell lists. I bend the game: to support, to care.

Some examples: I currently have a player who is a ratfolk ('rat-kin', upon her request) rouge, who wanted an animal companion. She now has a ridable rat. She was also granted an ability to (a limited number of times per day) summon rat swarms (as in the spell). She now has a dagger than can extend into a jousting lance, and gets a cavalier-like bonus to charges made while mounting. Yes, I have a rat player riding a rat, summoning rats, that is a rouge, but also a cavalier. At the end of the day, what have I sacrificed? Giving an edge, and choices, to my player. What have I gained? A happy player.

Mechanics wise, I try to accommodate with balance. Here's what that looks like. Could she have been accommodated with a full druid-progression animal companion if we had a druid on the team? No, perhaps not. I do not seek to step on the capabilities of other players in the party. Would I make the ability to use a swarm endless, or even wildly numerous? No, for respect to the party members, but also because an endless supply of rats crawling along her body don't make sense. Now, if they were constantly procreating and replenishing each night they spent on her, then that's both comically gross and balanced! I consider it equally a responsibility to have players play within balance as I do to have them feel supported.

Of course, I think players have an equal part responsibility in what I accommodate. They should:

• Know what they want, and commit to it (changing your mind back and forth is frustrating, to everyone around the table, but probably mostly for the player making the request, because they're constantly learning a new character); 
• Accept negotiation as a part of the deal, and not as an attack; and on that same note, know that 'no' is a possibility;
• Recognize that attempts to create accommodation should be reciprocated with appreciation (how ever you choose to fashion that; though, this DM likes food and drink);
• and lastly, speak up when you want something (closed mouths don't get fed). 

What other DMs out there are Care Benders, and how do you do it? What have been some of your modifications? What are your challenges, and what has been rewarding?